Top Ten Ways to NOT be a Jackass

10. Express common politeness, i.e., "please", "thank you", "Pardon me, I seem to have induced a coma in your cat with my flatulence.", "You are a valued HP customer and we will do our best to assure your complete satisfaction with our products and services."




9. Don't wear floral prints that match your drapes, your neighbour's drapes, the hotel's drapes or any drapes ever hung anywhere, ever.





8. Never call total strangers "Babe" or "Hun".*


7. Never call anyone you know "Babe" or "Hun".*






6. Write down phone messages - you just don't care enough to commit them to memory.





5. Do not limp in an attempt to validate your use of "handicapped only" parking spaces.
5.(b) Do not confuse fat or lazy with handicapped.







4. Think before you speak.

3. Think before you act.








2. Make a sincere effort to use complete words at least 30% of the time - all the world's communication is NOT a txt msg.





1. Do unto others. That's it, just "do". Yes, it would be nice to treat everyone the way you want to be treated but not everyone you encounter will feed you, clothe you, challenge your mind, soothe your body and complete your soul, and you sure as hell aren't gonna do it either. Start small.

---

* Excluding any Mongolian or Turkic nomads who invaded Europe in the 4th century.

The author makes no inferences or suggestions that members of the equus asinus family are anything but cool. I loves donkeys, I does.